Mike Preston Death

[MikeP]

August 31,2008
This morning at around 12:20 a.m. is a very sad day for me . My husband Mike Preston the man I loved very much has taken his own life. This last year has been a rough one and I was hoping he would make it through his depression but I was wrong, It was much worse then I thought. So those of you who have someone in your Life Love them with all your heart and let them know how much you love them because you never now how much time you have with them in this world.

[Robb]

Tammy,
I'm shocked and saddened by this news. You, Shad, and the whole flying community have lost a wonderful husband, father, and friend. He will be missed.
Sincerely,
Robb

[oj]

This is shocking and terrible news. I was with Mike at the coast on Friday and we were talking about his going back to work this week. He appeared to be in good spirits as always, joking and having fun, so this is really hard to fathom.

Tammy, I'm am so sorry for your loss. John.

[Flying Bunny]

I'm shocked to hear the news. He was such a great person to be around when flying. My condolescences Tammy...

Heidi

[Doug G]

I’m so saddened and shocked by this news. Mike was such a great guy. I really enjoyed knowing him, and always enjoyed hanging out and flying with him. This is tragic.

Tammy, I’m so very sorry for your loss. He will be greatly missed by all.

Doug

[Tom Pipkin]

Tammy,

We’re all devastated and heart broken by this sad news.
My thoughts are with you and Shad………..

[Dean S]

very sad...

I got a call this morning informing me of the news and I was certain the person calling was pulling my leg; until I checked this thread. I never got the impression Mikes state of mind was so depressed, he hid it well. There are so many different characters in our pilot community and Mike was certainly no exception. It was obvious that flying brought him a lot of joy, and we all liked teasing him about his giant "mug" that he always toted around. Mike was a great addition to the group, he'll definitely be missed...

Tammy and Shad, my thoughts are with you.
Dean S

[tsgarth]

I am so sad today to receive the news of Mike's death. It was a complete shock to me, I thought he was doing so well, but I guess you never know what is really going on inside. When I had my crash on March 31 of this year and had a similar operation to Mike's, Mike was right there for me. He came to visit me when I was bed ridden and in extreme pain. Mike knew what I was going through and was extremely helpful in my getting over my operation and recovery. There were days when my pain was so great I just wanted to end it . Mike's compassion and understanding helped me through this terrible period. I am truly grateful to him and to his wife Tammy.

I deeply appreciate Mike being there for me. I am in a state of shock and sadness AND I feel guilty because Mike tried to call me a few days ago and I had not gotten back to him, partly because of cell phone problems but that is no excuse. We prayed in church this morning for Mike and for Tammy. I am so sorry for them both and for his son Shad. Mike will truly be missed.

Sadly
Steve Garthwaite

[pengoquin]

Mike was terrific guy and I’m thankful to have known him. He was always so upbeat that I had no idea that this could happen. Tammy and Shad you are in our thoughts and prayers.

Our sincere condolences,
Bob and Marian Peloquin

[NMERider]

removed by author

[Kelly S]

I am sorry for the loss of Mike.
I met him at Bates beach and will think of him every time I think of or visit there.
He was somewhat of a mentor to me in the short time I have been flying. His advice was always welcome and he seemed to truly enjoy being able to share his knowledge and advice. It was greatly appreciated. He will be missed and thought of often.

[Chip Bartley]

Tammy and Shad,

I am so sorry for the loss of Mike. Saturday, I put the call out to Mike, OJ and Parma Chris that Rincon Mountain was looking good after i drove up and checked it and of course Mike was on it. OJ had the Suburban torn apart and Chris was not around. I was camping at the coast with my family and some friends and OJ, Mike and I tried to fly the day before. Mike and I went up to launch and when we got there the conditions had diminished in the time it took to get there and set up the ride etc. Looking back at the day and conversations Mike was reminiscing a little more than usual but nothing but positive chatter and smiles. We both attempted to launch and the condition of launch was holding us back as the weeds were deep and thick and winds light. We both took a run at it and ended up half way down the hill in the weeds and frustrated. i made the call to pack it up as the marine layer was also rolling in fairly thick and visibility was spotty at best. Those of you that know Mike already know what happened next. Once he makes his mind up to do something he does it. He meticulously laid out his wing making sure every last line was clear and it was at the exact angle to face the wind and with his determination hucked himself off the mountain. I was amazed at the fact that after his back surgery and the pain associated with it that he was doing so well as i have had my own orthopedic issues and post operative challenges with pain. He skimmed along at about 30' over all the way down until he disappeared in to the fog... Josh our driver and I drove down and when we got to the bottom Mike was packed up and sitting in his car with a big ole sh_t eating grin on his face. I asked him how it went and he said "that was pretty scary at the end as he was blinded a bit by the fog but he had made what is now his final flight. He reached out and shook my hand and i asked him what he was doing tomorrow and he said he had a good feeling about Bates being on. we said our good byes and that was that until i heard from OJ the next morning about the tragic news of Mikes death. Oddly enough in the afternoon after going to the training hill, OJ and I had a great flight at Bates in the afternoon. Mike made the call and was right. i wish he would have been there to enjoy it with us.

I am very saddened by this loss and feel for his family. I know Shad is unaware of his father’s death as Tammy told me he is remote in some mountain range flying and hasn’t been able to be contacted. Suicide is one of the hardest things to deal with for friends and family and it is normal for all to feel a certain amount of guilt and anger. Ultimately this action leaves loved ones with a lot of torment and conflicted thoughts that always circle back to a decision that had nothing to do with their actions or lack there of. THIS WAS MIKES DECISION BASED ON HIM AND HIS OWN CONFLICTED THOUGHTS AND DEAMONS. I will pray for all our minds to heal and that Mike is at peace with himself. Here is some information from Dr. Phil's website that I hope helps. Please let me know if i can do anything to help with next Sundays get together.

____________________________________________________________________________________________

Dealing with Anger and Guilt After a Suicide
After losing a loved one to suicide, it isn't uncommon to struggle with conflicting feelings of anger and grief. Dr. Phil has advice on dealing with these painful and troubling emotions.


Know that it's normal to feel anger toward the loved one who committed suicide at the same time that you feel overwhelming grief over the loss. They made a devastating choice that will impact the rest of your life, leaving you to pick up the pieces and deal with the aftermath.


It's also normal to feel guilty after catching yourself feeling anger toward the deceased.


Ask yourself whether you love or hate the person you lost. Do you miss him/her or are you glad he/she is gone? Of course, you love and miss him/her. That's because these emotions are based on who your loved one was.


Do you feel guilty about loving and missing your loved one? Of course not. What you feel guilty about is your anger. The question is, are you angry at the person who committed suicide or are you angry about the choice he/she made to end his/her life, leaving you behind with the legacy of pain and hurt?


Chances are, you are angry at the choice, not the person — and it was your loved one who made that choice, not you. Had you known that he/she was going to commit suicide, you would have done what you could to stop it.


Accept that you couldn't change what happened and did the best you could with what you knew at the time. If you are burdening yourself with misplaced guilt, you are in effect confining yourself to an emotional prison.


The bars of an emotional prison are made out of guilt, anger, bitterness and resentment. But what people don't understand is that that kind of prison locks from the inside. There isn't anybody that can let you out of that prison except for you.


You wake up every morning and choose what to think. If you have chosen to carry the burden of guilt, shame, anger and hurt everywhere you go, what would happen if you decided, "I can't change what happened. So I'd better accept it and recognize that the life that I have today, tomorrow and the next day is going to be a function of what I choose"?


Give yourself permission to say, "It's OK to be mad at what he/she did." Because it was not OK. Then get back in the game. That's the bottom line. You experienced a devastating loss, but you didn't choose it. Give yourself permission to move on.

[Shadmp]

Dear Pilots and fellow friends,

I just want to thank each and every one of you that my Dad was lucky enough to have in his life. When my Dad fell into paragliding after 50 years of life, it became the one activity that brought him the happiness in life that he was looking for. He was so passionate about it and then came the opportunity for him to share this great sport that we all have in common with myself. That became the icing on the cake. Not only was there this great sport that he loved with all these great individuals to share it with, but he was now able to fly side by side with his son. Those are some of my most treasured moments and I am so thankful that I was able to find paragliding through him. He gave me something very special that I will cherish for the rest of my life.

Unfortunately paragliding was not enough to make him truly happy and I was unaware of just what he was going through as I had not talked to my Dad in about 3 months due to my own stubborn reasons. It is for that reason that I am so torn up over this. My Dad was not only my Dad, but he was like my brother and ultimately my best friend in life and I brushed him aside because of my own selfish reasons and I can't stop beating myself up over it. I don't get to have those 3 months back. I can't tell him I'm sorry or tell him how much I love him or anything. I just feel so alone now with all this guilt. I am truly envious of those that were able to spend time with him on his last days, doing exactly what it was that he enjoyed most............hanging with friends and paragliding.

You all mean so much to me. Thank you for being a part of my Dad's life and thank you for being a part of mine.

[faoro]

Shad, you can be proud of the obvious love for your dad that you displayed in your post. (And you should be.)

We're all here for you, Shad, and we always will be. Whatever you need, whenever you need it.

Ron Faoro

[Chip Bartley]

Shad,

You have to know that your dad loved you with all his heart and soul and he will be with you forever. I feel for you brother and am sure it hurts terribly. You have to focus on the awesome times you had not what you missed. My father and I were in a car accident and he died in 1972. I was 6 and often wonder what it would have been like to just have a little time with him as I grew up and as an adult. Be very thankfull for what you shared and do whatever it takes to keep your head right Shad. If you need anything at all we are here for you.

Chip 805.844.0058